Happy 7th birthday to my Girls

On September 21, 2001 our lives changed forever. Cayden was just 22 months old, we lived in Boise, the awful events of 9/11 had just occurred and we found out that we were pregnant. I had just recently had an ectopic (tubal) pregnancy that could have been very serious and life threatening. Due to that experience, we were told that my chances of having another ectopic pregnancy were greatly increased. We were also told that we may have a hard time getting pregnant in the future because one of my tubes had ruptured and had to be removed during the surgery. We were very concerned about both of these diagnosis' but knew things would work out in God's time.

Once I was 6 weeks along, far enough to do an accurate ultrasound, we headed to the OB to make sure we weren't experiencing another ectopic pregnancy. On October 8, our lives again changed forever. I will never forget laying on the table watching the ultrasound screen like a hawk. Cayden sat in his stroller, eating a sucker, and Rob was at my side holding my hand. I immediately was concerned when the technician was very quiet and seemed to take a long time looking. I thought for sure it meant bad news. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she said simply, "There's two!" Rob's response? "Two what!?" (Later, he told me he was in shock and thought she meant 2 hands, 2 feet, ANYTHING other than two BABIES!) She pointed out the 2 separate dark circles on the screen and showed us that indeed, there were two babies. My reaction? I started hysterically laughing. It was all I could do. I could not stop laughing. She assured us that everything look great, told us our due date in June, and sent us on our way. To say that we were in shock would be the understatement of a lifetime. And so it began.

My pregnancy with my girls was great. Cayden was such a sweet boy and so good. Many friends and family commented that God sent Cayden to our family first because He knew that Cayden would be such a good big brother. I continued teaching preschool and continued getting bigger by the day. It was so fun when I could finally start feeling them move. Baby A (Ashlee) was on my lower left side and moved a lot. She got the hiccups all the time (something she still does) and seemed to always be wiggling. Baby B (McKell) was a lot more subdued, quiet, and I would often times poke her up on my right side to make sure she was okay.

When carrying multiples, the OB visits and ultrasounds are increased. I loved getting to see my babies via ultrasound every time I went in for a visit. Everything seemed to be going along great until an abnormality was found on baby Ashlee's kidneys. She had "hydroneuphrosis" which is fluid around the kidney. We were sent to a perinatologist who did extensive ultrasounds and was put in charge of monitoring things. Unfortunately, the condition seemed to get worse every time we went in for a check up. We were finally told that Ashlee would most definitely have to have surgery to correct this problem as soon as she was born. I was far enough along that it didn't have to happen in-utero but our little baby girl would be facing surgery as soon as she was born. There was nothing else that could be done. Of course, we knew differently. Our friends, ward, and family all had a special fast for us and little Ashlee. Rob gave me a beautiful Priesthood blessing and I can honestly say that there was never a time where I felt panicked or worried. There was an unusual calm that I had through the whole thing, knowing that Ashlee would be just fine. Shortly after she was born, surgery was being scheduled and an ultrasound was done on Ashlee. The doctors were shocked and amazed to see that not only had the fluid around Ashlee's kidneys gone down, but it was completely gone without a trace of anything ever being wrong. They couldn't explain it medically, but we knew. A miracle had happened. No surgery was necessary and her kidneys have been fine ever since.

Towards the end of my pregnancy, I was put on modified bedrest (this is the term my OB finally gave me after I told him that bedrest with a 2 year old little boy running around wasn't an option). At the end of April, at around 34 weeks, I started showing early signs of toxemia (pregnancy induced hypertension-high blood pressure). I had been induced with Cayden for this same condition, so it wasn't too surprising. The decision was finally made that for my health and the health of the babies, we would need to induce labor. So, on May 9, 2002, at 36 weeks along (only 4 weeks early), I was scheduled to have our twins.

It was a beautiful spring day and we were so excited and nervous to finally meet our babies. There is so much uncertainty when delivering multiples. Everything could go right or wrong in a matter of seconds. My labor wasn't too bad, my epidural was wonderful, and that afternoon, I was wheeled into the operating room to deliver. We had never planned on a caesarian, but with twins, delivery in the OR is mandatory just in case a C-section is required. The OR with multiples looks like a circus. There is a team of doctors and nurses for the mother and each baby, as well as an anesthesiologist and extras. Because the girls surprised us by coming so quickly, we almost didn't have our whole "team" in the room when they were born.

Ashlee Jo Peacock came into the world, much like she is today - pretty laid back, not much fuss, and wanting to sleep. Only a few pushes and she was there. She weighed a healthy 6 lbs 5 oz and was perfect. After being born, she went right to sleep. Typical Ashlee. McKell Elizabeth Peacock was a little more hesitant to come into the world. She was breech and was not budging. It's as if she was saying, "I will come when I am darn good and ready!" - very much like her personality today. Unfortunately, she would not turn, so she came breech. How typical of McKell to come into the world being literally pulled by her foot with one arm behind her back. She weighed a healthy 6 lbs 5 oz and was also perfect. Unlike her sister, she was wide awake and wanting to see the world.

Both babies were miraculously healthy. They didn't require NICU stays, oxygen, etc. The only small issue was their blood sugar that was low. I was so thrilled when I finally got to hold my baby girls for the first time. They were perfect and beautiful and unique and I immediately fell in love with both of them.

I have always been very grateful that Ashlee and McKell are fraternal twins and not identical. This has helped us in our goal to treat them as unique individuals and focus on their own special gifts, personalities, and lives. They don't look at all alike and are very different in their personalities. I love that. I don't really even look at them like twins. To me, they are just normal sisters.

Amazingly, 7 years have passed since that day long ago in Boise, Idaho. This weekend we celebrated my girls' 7th birthday. I can't believe it has already been 7 years! Where has that time gone? They are both beautiful sweet little girls. We are so blessed to have them. In honor of their 7th birthday, here are 7 things about each of them that makes them who they are.

Ashlee Jo Peacock
1. Ashlee keeps us (and most people around her) laughing. She really doesn't try to be funny, she just comes by it naturally. She is very honest, blunt, and direct. She says what is on her mind, which a lot of times is very funny. The "Ashlee-isms" at our house are nonstop.
2. Ashlee has taught us a million life lessons. The first, is faith. She taught us faith before she was even born, but when Ashlee was just 18 months, we noticed that she was having some developmental delays. We also discovered that one of her eyes was turning in. We found out that she was far sighted and had bilaterial strabismus. She got her first pair of little glasses when she was just 18 months old. Up until this point, she couldn't see things close up and we had no idea. I distinctly remember watching her when we put her little glasses on for the first time. It was like she was seeing the world for the first time and she was fascinated! When we got home, I put her on my lap, facing me, and started talking to her. I will never forget how she looked at me, as if she was really seeing me for the first time. She put her chubby little hands on my face and said, "Mama?" . I burst into tears. My baby girl had never really seen me before this. Shortly after this, her eye was still turning in and required bilateral surgery to fix both eyes. We fasted and prayed and had faith that it would all be okay. And thankfully, it was.
3. Another whole group of life lessons that Ashlee taught us came when she was about 3 1/2. We knew that she had some developmental delays. We had been working with different doctors since she was 2 on her motor skills, speech, etc. But when she was 3, we finally took her to a group of specialists and our lives changed with one sentence - "Ashlee has autism". It was one of the most devastating, overwhelming, frustrating, upsetting things I had ever heard. And on that day, we started down the uncharted world of autism with our little girl. Ashlee is high functioning which is a blessing in itself. But for someone like me, who doesn't deal well with change, this was one of the hardest things I had ever gone through. I am also (or was) a person who valued very highly what other people thought of me. And anyone with a child with autism knows, that is one of the first things to go out the window. People are going to think what they are going to think and that is too bad. My first priority is to my child. We have come a long way since that diagnosis 3 1/2 years ago. People often say to us that Ashlee was sent to us because we were the parents that could best help her. I always have to say, "No, Ashlee was sent to us, not because she needed us, but because we needed her."
4. Ashlee has the best freckles. I tell her they are angel kisses...just like my grandma used to tell me. She has lots of them so I tell her that the angels must really love her.
5. Ashlee truly knows the meaning of the phrase, "Dance as if no one is watching." Ashlee is carefree and enjoys life. She marches to the beat of her own drum and doesn't really care if others march along. At times I worry how Ashlee is treated at school by her peers, but I am always reassured by her teachers and have seen first hand that Ashlee is one of the most liked kids in class. I think this is because Ashlee is who she is and rolls with it.
6. Ashlee is a snuggle bug. Always has been. When she was just a baby, I would get laundry out of the dryer and dump it on the floor. Ashlee could never resist crawling from wherever she was to come and roll around and just truly enjoy the feel of the warm cuddly laundry. She is also this way with water. Can't ever resist it.
7. Finally, Ashlee has unconditional love. Because of her autism, she really doesn't know how to be mean spirited. (That's not to say she isn't a stinker at times!) I think this is why Ashlee loves and adores animals so much. She relates to the unconditional love and affection from the most loyal dog, cuddly cat, etc. Ashlee brings an element of love into our home that is unique to her. It has been a joy watching her as a big sister to Sadie. Sadie picks up on this special spirit that Ashlee has and is drawn to it. It is no surprise that Sadie's first name that she said was, "Ash-eee". We are so grateful for the special spirit that Ashlee brings into our home and feel so blessed to have her in our family.

McKell
1. McKell is so inquisitive. She is the very definition of the word. She gets this a lot from her dad. McKell is always asking questions, wanting to know why things are the way they are. But not just factual things like science or math, McKell wants to know all about people and why they do things or say things etc. Her teacher just informed us that she has never had a student ever who has asked more deep questions and really wanted to learn the answer. She said that McKell single handedly is responsible for some of the most deep and educational class discussions she has ever had. I love that McKell loves to learn about things and know more about everything.
2. I love my "Mommy and McKell days". I realized very early on that with us having to focus so much on Ashlee's autism, that we would have to make a concerted effort to make sure that we also focused on McKell. And thus the "Mommy and McKell days" were born. It worked out perfectly because Ashlee had an extra day of preschool so it was just me and McKell at home. So each Monday we would do something special - go to lunch, paint fingernails, do a craft project, go shopping, etc. It was wonderful. We don't do it as often as we used to now that McKell is in school every day, but she still makes frequent requests for a "Mommy McKell Day" and I am more than happy to oblige. I know there will be days in the not too distant future when hanging out with her old mom won't be as appealing.
3. McKell is the peacemaker in our home. She always has been. Ashlee and Cayden tend to not always get along, but McKell is the one that can always seem to bring peace to that situation. She is always willing to sacrifice what she wants for something that will help someone else in our family. I actually have to watch this closely to make sure that she isn't taken advantage of. She is very close to the Spirit and always strives to have peace and happiness and love in our home.
4. McKell is a wonderful sister. She has a very special bond and relationship with Cayden. They have always had a special friendship and understanding. I am so happy for this closeness that they have. She is also a wonderful sister to Ashlee. We often times say that there is no question that God sent McKell with Ashlee to be her special angel. McKell has a way with Ashlee like none of us have. She can get through that "autism wall" at times when none of us can. She is a born nurturer and loves her sister. I remember vividly when the girls were just babies. They loved their binkies and would spend a lot of time playing on the floor. McKell, who was always on the go, had learned to roll and used that technique to get around. One day, Ashlee's binki had fallen out and she couldn't reach it. She began fussing and before I even had a chance to go in and get it for her, little McKell had rolled across the room, picked up Ashlee's binki, and put it in her mouth. I think she was maybe 7 months old. She has been looking out for Ashlee ever since. I love the bond that the two of them have. They are each other's best friends. McKell has been an amazing big sister to Sadie. Again, she has a very special bond with Sadie and Sadie loves her so much. She trusts McKell and loves to snuggle with her.
5. McKell is the little songbird in our family. She loves to be always singing and dancing. Whether it is a real song or something that she has made up, she fills our home, and car, and yard, etc. with music and dance.
6. I love that McKell is artsy and crafty like me. She loves a good project. She loves a new pair of scissors, glue, box of crayons, etc. She fills our fridge with cards and artwork that are McKell originals. As she gets older, it is fun to do these projects together with her. I have a feeling that we have some fun crafting days ahead of us.
7. McKell has a strong spirit and a strong testimony. McKell is definitely an "old soul" and wise beyond her years. She is so in tune with things and very close to God. When she is feeling bad, has lost a special toy, is sick, etc. it is her first response to pray. She has great faith. She is an example to everyone in our family.

So, I wish my sweet little girls a very happy 7th birthday. I am thankful every day that God chose me to be your mom. You have forever changed my life for the good and so on your birthday, I not only celebrate that you were born, but I celebrate that on that day I became your Mom. I love you!