Friday, March 27, 2009

Another trip to "The Bad Place"

The Bad Place is a place I never knew existed before I became a mother. Sure, I had down days and hard days. I thought those college days were pretty gnarly at times. But I never realized there was such a place until I became a mother. At first, you just visit the bad place...very rarely. But the more children you have, the more frequent the visits become and the longer the stays in the bad place. Any mother out there knows what I am talking about. Some women describe it as "I snapped" or "I lost it". It's all about the same. There are varying degrees of The Bad Place. I have seen pretty much all of them. I actually am the self-declared mayor of The Bad Place. Quite a few of my friends are on the city council. My best friend, Juliann, is the City Manager last time I checked.

So, today, I have pretty much set up camp in The Bad Place. The kids' school threw me for a loop and decided to not have school today. Of course, I didn't realize this until late last night. That's when I had that "Oh crap!" moment. I usually try to really prep myself for no school days. I get done all that I need to the day before so I don't have to worry about doing it with all of the kids home. But because I didn't realize it was a no-school day, I wasn't prepared at all. To make matters worse, my children have apparently been posessed by some unseen demons that have made them do things that are completely unexplainable.

So, here is my day at the bad place. I went into the day very sleep deprived. Sadie has a bad cough, cold and ear infection which kept her up a lot last night. So in addition to being 5 months pregnant, anemic, major back pain today, etc. I had to add sleep deprivation to it. My motivation to clean my house was clearly not anywhere to be found. But I had to will myself to do it.

By 10:00 am, the kitchen was trashed, Sadie had done some lovely Crayola "artwork" all over the kitchen floors, and Cayden and Ashlee got in a heated altercation which ended in Ashlee's glasses breaking.
By 11:00 am the girls had decided to look "stylish" (their word, not mine) and of course they needed some of Mommy's make up to achieve this look. When Ashlee couldn't get the right look with just make up, she decided that markers would do a great job. So, yes, she used markers to do her make up. Somehow whiskers were a part of the look she was going for.
By 12:00, the older kids had woken up Sadie but the good news is that I had the whole downstairs cleaned, dusted, vacuumed, swept, and mopped. I think it was about this time I started hobbling due to my back. This is also when Cayden & Ashlee get into altercation #2 after Ashlee wrote Cayden a note telling him she wishes he weren't her brother. This ends with Ashlee in a time out and Cayden grounded for the day after he pounds on her. (This is complete payback from me and my brother when we were younger.)
By 1:00, I had loaded all of the kids into the car so we could take Ashlee's glasses to get fixed. Luckily, they didn't have to replace them and could fix them on site. As a reward for them being good at the eye doctor (and let's be honest, to save me from messing up my clean kitchen and having to fix lunch), we stopped at Wendys. They actually did okay...until we spilled not one, but two full drinks. At this point, people looked at me, looked at the chaos surrounding me, and then looked at my pregnant belly. It's as if I could hear them saying, "Seriously? She's having another one?" I wanted to yell out, "Yeah, I know. Trust me, I know."
By 3:00 we make it back home. I beg and plead that the kids cut me a break and just finish cleaning their rooms, no more fighting, etc. They seem to listen. They even seem to empathize a bit. That all ends as soon as we get in the house. Within a matter of minutes Cayden points out to me that there is a lot of water in the side yard. I think it must just be the melted snow. But alas, no. It is the hose...spraying all over the yard. Completely flooding it. Not quite sure how that happened.
By 3:30, I am changing yet another poopy diaper of Sadie's. It is finally a little bit quiet and peaceful and foolishly, I think that my children are giving me the requested break that I had asked for earlier. I should have known better. Experience has taught me that a little quiet is heavenly...a lot of quiet is dangerous. As soon as I get Sadie all cleaned up, I head into the loft to find that my 3 adorable older children have decided that it is completley fine and appropriate to be having a full blown water fight IN our house. Cayden is wielding a fully loaded water gun and Ashlee is literally dripping. They have little teacups filled with water that they are throwing on each other. Sadie somehow gets in the crossfire and is soaked. At this point, I give them "the look". They know this look. It is a look that comes after being in the bad place for so long. The look means, "If you value your life and your safety, you better get your little behinds in your rooms before Mommy totally loses it." I do my counting exercises so I don't lose it. I also call their father at this point. He promises he will try to leave early.
By 4:00, they are all still in their rooms and I am hoping the worst has passed. But alas, my day in the bad place can't be over quite yet. McKell comes running out of her room to announce that Ashlee has swallowed a magnet marble. I have warned them all that they can't swallow the magnet marbles because they will make them very sick and some children have even died from swallowing them. (I saw that on a Grey's Anatomy episode...I'm sure it's legit information.) McKell is hysterical because "Ashlee is going to die now!" and Ashlee follows her out of the room, throws her arms in the air in victory and exclaims, "See, Mom! I'm still alive!" Again, I send them back to their room and call the doctor. Fortunately, the marble she swallowed isn't magnetized so she should be okay. We now have to try to watch for it to "pass". Oh goody!

So, it is now almost 5:00. The kids are still wet (I wouldn't let them change...I'm such a mean mom). Their dad should soon be home and can take over. And as for me? I am hopefully making my way out of The Bad Place. Hopefully, I won't be back any time soon.

12 comments:

Jade said...

Sheesh! I say call a babysitter (any will due at this point), you and Rob leave and go out:)

Abes and Stace said...

Huh, I wonder why I didn't see you there today. I too was in the bad place!
At least you get those looks with 4children so its legit. I get the dirty looks in public and I only have 2! Maybe there's a class I can take....
Oh, and I love how you opened this post with the word 'gnarly'. haha

Jen Peacock said...

Oh Marci...I would have totally lost it. Good for you, I'll have to try the counting thing. Our kids have completely tuned us out lately. I think I might have dibbs on a committee position somewhere. I busted out laughing for pretty much this entire post. Thanks for sharing, than I don't feel alone in the fact that being in the Bad Place is common place as a mom, no matter how good of one you are we all go there sometimes.

Kim said...

If you're the mayor of the bad place, then I'm the queen! I have so had days like this. You handled it very well. Put the kids to bed and relax tonight!

Joseph and Jenny said...

It's days like that when I forget cleaning the house, call it a sick day, and watch a movie with the kids. I mean, the house will live, it really will. And it's a small price to pay for my sanity.

Juliann said...

And I'm a DANG awesome City Manager if I do say so myself.

Cammie said...

My suggestion is drugs...

Jenn said...

Bless your heart! I think that day is for the record books! You are an amazing mom and I think if there was a run-off for Mayor of the Bad Place I would beat you! ;)

Anjeanette said...

Holy cow, are your stories getting longer or is your life just getting crazier? I thought the more kids you had, the easier it got.....no?.....ok maybe not. Hope things start to get a little better for you. :)

Angela said...

Oh my goodness, Marci. That's quite the day. Wow, I'm still reeling and that's just from reading about it.

Wendy Evans said...

UGHH!I am so sorry for the day from @%*#! I hope you had a better night and the rest of the week. I hate days like that and it just all seems to hit at once and there is nothing to do but throw your hands in the air, lock yourself in your bathroom,take a nice hot bubble bath then hide in your bed and pray your house will still be standing when your husband gets home to find you hiding! Then he gets the resposibility of cleaning all night with the children and letting you rest so you don't end up in the bad place house!! hehe!

Stacy said...

Oh Marci.... ugh! yuck! suck! stink! That is one crappy day!